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The Malicious Musings Of Mistress Malice

Nov. 15th, 2013

04:46 pm - Mistress Malice's Upcoming Birthday

Click Here To Purchase Amazon Gift Certificates

I completely understand why shopping for a sadistically selfish bitch like Myself can be difficult for the intellectually inferior male submissive, so I have made this most important decision easier for all of you. All of the gifts that I want can be purchased using Amazon gift certificates so that is what I most desire!

Amazon gift certificates are the perfect way to show appreciation for the fact that I graced your miserable lives on the day that I came to be born into existence. Even you broke ass little bitches have no excuse because purchasing an Amazon gift certificate allows you the ability to choose the amount you are able to tribute based on your individual financial situation, but let's keep in mind that your self sacrifice and generosity on this most holy of days is expected. I don't give a fuck if you have to walk to work all month or damn near starve to death, I want this to be the very best birthday yet and as a submissive it is your duty to insure that this happens!

Oct. 31st, 2013

12:00 pm - Trick Or Treating With Mistress Malice...

Mistress Malice Wishes You All A Happy Halloween
Mistress Malice Wishes All Of You Guys And Ghouls A Very Happy Halloween!
Here's Some Sadistically Spooky Slave Activities To Help You Celebrate This Year!

1. Jackoff-A-Lantern - What's Halloween without a good old fashioned pumpkin fucking? Carve and paint your pumpkin any way you like but don't forget to carve a mouth hole to fuck all night!

2. Goryhole - Visit your local Gloryhole for a little Halloween delight! Just plant your lips against the wall and say trick or treat give me something good to eat when you hear someone enter the booth next to you and wait for your Halloween surprise!

3. Chocolate Shit Cookies - Bake a batch of sweet treats this Halloween and eat them all but instead of using chocolate chips in your cookies use exlax chocolate laxatives. This recipe is the shit!

4. Halloweenie Cock Costume - Dress up that disgusting dick dangling between your legs in a humiliating halloweenie costume that you created!

5. Haunted House Of Whores - Dress up in your best sissy slut wear and enjoy a night of slinging ass in dark and dirty alleys while earning money. Then call Me to spend all of the money you've earned as you share your stories of dick sucking degradation!

Oct. 5th, 2013

02:54 am - Porno for Baptists! Westboro Baptist Finger Bang...

Westboro Baptist Finger Bang

Punk Band Shoots Porn On Westboro Baptist Church Lawn - Gawker News Article
It's very rare these days that I see something that truly impresses me with it's comical depravity but the entire concept of female bass player "Laura Lush" from the California punk band Get Shot masturbating on the lawn of the Westboro Baptist Church totally made me laugh my ass off and made my pussy wet all at the same time! I'm just a little pissed off that I didn't think of doing it first! :)~

Sep. 13th, 2013

01:13 pm - Do You Dare To Dance With The Devil?


Mar. 31st, 2013

11:22 am - Happy Easter From Mistress Malice...

Happy Easter From Mistress Malice

Feb. 14th, 2013

11:59 pm - Happy Valentines Day From Mistress Malice...

Happy Valentines Day From Mistress Malice

Feb. 1st, 2013

01:13 pm - Happy Valentines Day To Mistress Malice...

Purchase A Valentines Day Gift Certificate From Extreme Restraints

This Valentines Day show how much you love and adore me by sending a generous gift certificate from Extreme Restraints so that I can purchase all of the wicked tools of torture and torment my tiny blackened heart desires. My email address for all gift certificate purchases is xMistressMalicex@aol.com

Current Mood: lovedloved

Dec. 25th, 2012

09:30 pm - Christmas Means Secret Santa Shopping Time!

Purchase A Christmas Gift For Mistress Malice

Have a seat my new big stupid Santa Claus! Make sure you're nice and comfy because I have a long list for you this year, and I just love surprises! There's lots of things I want this holiday season and much like our old jolly fabled fat man, you are going to buy them for me and make sure they are sitting under my tree by Christmas Eve. I just love waking up like a little girl on Christmas to drink hot cocoa in my sexy new holiday jammies while opening the presents you've paid for in a paper ripping whirlwind! So pull out your credit cards and get ready to wish me the happiest of holidays this year!


Nov. 22nd, 2012

09:30 am - Happy Spanksgiving - Celebrate Turkey Day My Way!

Mistress Malice Wishes You All A Happy Spanksgiving
Since it's Spanksgiving I decided to leave some special turkey day assignments and recipes for you ever so thankful slaves. Feel free to choose any or all of the activities listed below and let the turkey day fun begin!

1. Turkey Stuffing - Jack off in a bowl as many times as you can before Thanksgiving with the family begins and suck up the results into a handy dandy turkey baster each time and save it for Spanksgiving day dinner. Once all of your family and friends have arrived excuse yourself to use the bathroom and insert the turkey baster into your ass and squeeze your homemade turkey drippings into your own anal cavity until the baster is empty. Now squeeze your ass cheeks together to hold in the juices and return to your loving family to enjoy your holiday feast. After eating return to the bathroom and push out your now slow simmered special sauce while squating in the tub and gobble gobble until it's all gone! Yummmmmy!

2. Cranberry Ass Sauce - Make your very own cranberry sauce using fresh cranberries. Shove as many cranberries as you can into your ass upon waking on Spanksgiving Day and leave them there the entire day. Right before bed push them out onto your finest china and devour. This recipe serves one! Enjoy!

3. Corn On The Slob - Fill Your Bathtub with twenty supersized cans of corn and get in. We both know that pigs like you just love corn and rolling around in sloppy messes so why not combine the two? If you get lonely invite a fresh uncooked ear of corn to join the fun! I'm sure the two of you will find something to do together.

4. Pumpkin Pie Fucking - This Thanksgiving day activity is pretty self explainatory, but if you can't figure it out then you don't deserve any dessert anyway you retarded loser.

5. Spanksgiving Leftovers - Everyone knows that Shanksgiving dinner is even better on the second day. So on the day after your Spanksgiving you will also savor and eat "all" leftovers bodily produced from your day of gross gluttony as punishment for being such a filthy pig!

Current Mood: happyhappy

Nov. 16th, 2012

12:27 pm - Mistress Malice's Favorite Birthday Present...

Happy Birth To Mistress Malice

While I received quite a few awesome gifts my favorite present
was the one that I gave to myself! Aren't you glad to see that
your hard earned cash is so well spent? Thanks Losers! Haha!

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