The Malicious Musings Of Mistress Malice

Jul. 3rd, 2009

04:11 pm - Mistress Malice Will Be In Florida For The Fourth Of July Weekend...

HOW DOES MISTRESS MALICE CELEBRATE THE FOURTH OF JULY?

ANY FUCKING WAY SHE WANTS!

You won't be seeing much of me online for the next few days because I will be leaving late tonight to enjoy a relaxing weekend in Florida. I will have my laptop with me but will only be using it sparingly. If you find yourself missing me I suggest that you call me on talksugar, but don't forget to bring the sparklers! Lmfao!

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Jul. 2nd, 2009

12:04 pm - The Perverts Fourth Of July Survival Kit...

The Perverts Fourth Of July Survival Kit Includes Porn, Fireworks, And A New Air Conditioner!

PORN, FIREWORKS, AND A NEW AIR CONDITIONER FOR THE BEDROOM...
ADD A COUPLE SLAVES AND STIR AND YOU HAVE EVERYTHING A PERVERT
LIKE ME COULD POSSIBLY NEED TO SURVIVE THE UPCOMING WEEKEND!

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Jun. 29th, 2009

04:34 pm - New Video: Inhale My Venomous Poison

Enter The Sadistic Web Of Mistress Malice!
WATCH THIS VIDEO IN THE LIVE VIDEO CLIP SECTION OF WWW.MISTRESSMALICE.COM

I just added a new never seen before smoking fetish video to the live video
clip section of WwW.MistressMalice.CoM for your perverted viewing pleasure.

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Jun. 26th, 2009

12:25 pm - Cell Phone Cumfessions Assignment...

Cell Phone Cumfessions - They say that confession is good for the soul, so your first cell phone assignment is to send me a voice message confessing one of your deep dark desires! If I'm impressed with the number of the adoring fans completing this assignment I will reward you all by sending out a special voice message confessing one of my own naughty fantasies.

Instructions On Using This Service....

1. First make sure your cell phone is turned on!

2. Then go to the text function on your mobile
phone and select send new text or just new text.

3. This is where you enter the code or number 729669.
Then send the word "malice" to this number. Think of the
code as the phone number you are sending the message to.

4. After you do this you should get a text within a minute
or two from the code giving you a number to call to leave
a mobile message. After you call the number that was sent
to you, the instructions there should be enough to guide you.

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Jun. 12th, 2009

01:45 pm - Mistress Malice On Your Mobile Phone...

Text the word "malice" to 729669 and subscribe to receive text messages, voice messages, ringtones, wallpapers, and much more! I am still testing this application out but I have a feeling I'm going to find some seriously wicked ways to amuse myself with this all new feature. Next Friday I will be sending out a special slave assignment via mobile message to all fans who have subscribed in the next seven days so don't miss out on all of the fun. It's totally free so you have no excuse not to subscribe now!

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May. 18th, 2009

03:58 pm - New Website Feature Added Recently Added...

WWW.MISTRESSMALICE.COM NOW HAS IT'S VERY OWN CHATROOM! JOIN US!

http://www.meebo.com/rooms

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May. 17th, 2009

02:52 am - Mistress Malice's Crazy Fucking Day...

As many of you know we had a barbecue party at my house earlier today, but it was seems from moment one nothing was going right. To start we were running way behind schedule with the party preparations and of course I forgot to get a few needed items at the store as usual which meant a second trip to the store while everyone else stayed behind to handle the more domestic side of things. To make matters even worse my car battery was dead and would not turn over when I first tried to leave the house because someone killed the battery listening to the radio while cleaning out the car earlier that morning. Being the more car knowledgeable person in the house instead of calling someone outside to help I just popped the hood and tried to figure out what the problem was myself. I was so distracted by the fact that my car would not start that I didn't even notice that someone had pulled into my driveway to offer his help. How I could miss the sudden unexpected appearance of a tall dark puerto rican stranger I'm not sure, but the next thing I know I heard someone offer to give me a jump from about three inches behind me. I nearly had a fucking heart attack before finally turning around to witness one of those most magnificent pieces of man flesh that I have seen in a very long time. Over six feet tall and covered in old school tattoos this boy had the words "Yummy Man Morsel In Need Of Some Severe Male Correction" written all over him. While giving my battery the offered jump he introduced himself and even his fucking name was sexy. After my car finally starts I politely thank him for his help which he casually shrugs off like it was no big deal but his sly reply was meant to be anything but casual as he says that he now knows where to come if he ever needs a good jump in return. This innocent enough seeming statement was delivered with a flirtatious wink and dripping with bad boy innuendo which even the most virtuous virgin could not have missed. Deciding I could use a new boy toy to play with over the summer I allowed him to give me his number and in exchange for his help I passed him one of my business cards with my phone number written on the back just to test his reaction. Just as I hoped and suspected this very manly boy had enough kinky bdsm related curiosity and courage to experience new things to keep him from running like a little bitch.

Still enjoying the high of finding a new toy to play with I left to finish shopping as originally planned but my malicious mental musings were suddenly interrupted by the appearance of an asshole who obviously got his driver's license from a cracker jack box trying to buttfuck my new car without lube using his piece of shit jalopy as a two ton strapon. He barely misses rear ending me by half an inch as I carefully stop at the bright red stop light but I didn't murder him on the spot because right after his near accidental anal violation of my car he pulled up beside me to apologize profusely. Satisfied with his apology since no damage was done I attempt to continue my five mile journey to the grocery store which by now is beginning to feel like a journey to the ends of the fucking earth. Even more behind schedule then before I start driving more quickly then my chronic lead footitis usually demands and of course you know that I just had to go flying by the only fucking cop in the area not sucking up the free air conditioning in the local cop stop donut shop. Damn Damn Damn! With only a few more blocks to go to finally reach my destination I am once more thwarted in my attempt to rush to the store by the pretty blue lights now spinning in my rear view mirror. As if getting pulled over isn't bad enough, I have to get pulled over by old man river himself and this fucking pig takes ten minutes just to get out of the car. Fuck me! Luckily for me he did not give me the much deserved speeding ticket but he did give me a ticket for failing to wear a seat belt which sort of pissed me off even more then receiving a much more expensive speeding ticket would because I feel that an adult should have the right to choose whether or not they wear a seat belt.

Finally I pull into the shopping plaza after surviving an hour long ordeal that should have only taken ten minutes on a normal day, but obviously today was meant to be anything but normal. Quickly I got everything on my list without forgetting anything this time and rushed back to the house to jump in the shower in hopes of getting ready before my guests arrive. Which of course did not happen because as soon as I'm fully covered in relaxing lavender scented bubbles from head to toe I hear the doorbell ringing. Screaming for one of my personal subs to answer the door is absolutely no help because they are all outside standing around my backyard barbecue pit marveling over the huge fire they just created much like the first caveman to ever discover fire must have done. Severely pissed off and covered in nothing but the soapy residue of my favorite body soap and a towel I run to the door, but before I could fully make it to the front door I slip on the linoleum floor and bust my lily white naked ass at the exact moment that my personal subs finally realize people are in the front yard and yell for them to come on in and meet them out back. Accepting the invitation to walk right in my friends got to view me in all of my partially naked clumsy glory sprawled on the floor in the most awkward yet revealing position that one could likely land in without actually breaking their own neck. Mortified completely but trying to find humor in the extremely embarrassing situation I look up from the floor with my most serious and straight faced expression and ask everyone if they are ready to play naked twister. After the initial shock wore off I was able to stand up without fully losing the towel that I am now hanging onto for dear life and make it back to the bathroom without losing my balance or anymore of my dignity on the way.

Luckily the rest of the day actually went as planned and there were no further mishaps. Overall I'd have to say it was still one of the best barbecue parties we've had since our return to the the Gulf Coast area despite also being one of the most crazy ass fucked up days I've had in a really long time too.

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May. 13th, 2009

05:04 pm - Mistress Malice Musical Masterpiece By Meinfure-Mu

Visit my profile on myspace and listen to the new track just created by "Meinfure-Mu" called "Malice" which features myself and my actual voice as a muse. Watch for more talent from this upcoming musical artist in the very near future and show your support and gratitude for my happiness by adding him! Also all truly devoted fans and slaves that have a myspace profile are commanded to add this song to their own profiles!


www.myspace.com/meinfuremu
www.myspace.com/mistress_malice

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May. 10th, 2009

12:06 pm - Honor The Creator Of Life...

On this special day all males are commanded to honor the creator of life... Woman! While males may play a small role in this creation the true credit belongs to Women, for it is our bodies that nourish you and give you life. Only through the sacrifice and suffering of those who gave birth to you lowly specimens of the human race are you even allowed to exist. So on this day you will honor the Woman who made this existence possible... Your Mother! Shower her with gifts of gratitude to show her how much you appreciate the gift of life she has granted you, for by doing so you honor all Women.

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May. 1st, 2009

10:37 am - New Contest For Crossdressers : Prove That Crossdressers Got Talent Too!



Many have been so wrapped up in the story of Susan Boyle's recent appearance on the show Britain's Got Talent that they have totally missed out on some of the other priceless moments that have occured on this now very popular show. So just in case you personally missed it this clip is an example of my favorite Britain's Got Talent moment. I'd love to see some of you sissy crossdressers out there create a youtube video that would make Peter Coghlan "AKA" Mama Trish and Myself proud! So I am holding a crossdresser youtube video contest for all of my slaves and fans. The winner will receive a very personal and special suprise from me!

All male slaves and fans are invited to create youtube videos of themselves for My amusement and enter them in this current contest, but before you rush to create your entries please pay close attention to the following information because this contest is going to have some very strange rules. All videos submitted must be freshly created just for this contest, this means that I do not want some sloppy seconds that you created for your own amusement instead of mine. In order to prove that your video is indeed fresh and created especially for My amusement you will some how incorporate a readable sign with My name and website address visably displayed during some point of your video. Those who fail to include this element will be disqualified.

Since youtube is very particular about their content you will also have to be very careful not to break their terms of service, because any videos that get removed due to nudity or any other such reasons will be disqualified as well. This means you will have to be especially creative to create a video that will make me laugh My ass off and hopefully win without demonstrating your laughable penis size in hopes of getting extra humiliation points. I already know that your penis is likely the biggest joke of all but you will simply have to find a better way to make Me laugh, but I'm sure most of you retards out there should have no trouble demonstrating the fact that you are a remedial minded mother fucker despite this small limitation. All submitted videos must sucessfully and creatively comply to these requirements in order to be considered. Good luck to you all!

CONTEST RULES AND REGULATIONS

Video submissions will begin May/01/2009

Video submissions will end August/01/2009

1. You must be over 21 to enter this humiliation whore contest. By
submitting your entry you are giving Me the right to use your submission
on My website or other promotions in any other way that I may choose.

2. Your video must meet the youtube terms of service agreement.

3. Your video must be a new one created just for this contest and
must visably contain My name and website address to prove that
you did indeed create this video with My amusement in mind!

4. While I do have a disgustingly wicked and twisted sense of humor,
I do not find anything involving children or animals amusing! EVER!
(Unless You Are The Animal In Question Of Course! Haha!)

5. You must submit your youtube video link to me before August 1st 2009
via the email address shown below. Videos that are accepted into the contest
will be featured some where on My website or in My blog for the world to see
and laugh at too. Videos that receive alot of comments will also be given extra
points when I decide who wins the funniest humiliation whore on youtube contest
so pimping out your own video can increase your chances of winning as well.

Submit Your Youtube Video Links To xMistressMalicex@aol.com

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